


You are who you are

by EnoEno



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: College, Coming Out, Getting Together, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:14:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24293425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnoEno/pseuds/EnoEno
Summary: Suga knows he's gay since his sophomore year... well, third year in fact. And that's okay. He just hopes his parents will take it as well as he did...
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Kudos: 45





	1. Coming out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suga knows he's gay since his sophomore year... well, third year in fact. And that's okay. He just hopes his parents will take it as well as he did...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello !  
> I'm a huge fan of coming outs (intentional or not) to family in stories (no matter the media). One of my favorite reactions is in “Koisuru bôkun” by Tanaka Hinako, Sôichi's dad's one when... well, no spoiler but if you've read it, you'll know ^^ But I find there's not really so much works that display this situation (relatively to the amount of LGBT+ stories those days) so here's my contribution !  
> This is sort of a try. I'm french and it's the first time I try to write in English. It seemed fine while writing and translating it but when it came to reread... I don't know, I'm under the impression I've made quite a mess ^^' I'm a great reader but translating require a whole different level. So don't hesitate to correct any mistake you see (grammar, syntax, wording...) or just tell me if it's totally unreadable >.<  
> This work is in two part. The first (shorter) relates quickly how Suga knew he's gay and his coming-out to his parents, the second is about how he and Daichi became a couple (no DaiSuga in the first one, it only happens in their college years).  
> The story goes very fast because I felt a bit guilty to write this when I have many other works to finish so don't expect fine literature :-/ (and it's kind of a pity since it could have made a good multi-chapter story... well, I'll have to reaaaaally improve my English first, lol)  
> More notes at the end of this part !

Coming out

The first time Sugawara dreamed about boys, he panicked.

Not really because it was a guy, that was the least of his worries. No, the real issue was that there were _two_ boys. Even worse, it were his best friends. And even even worse it was a _really_ dirty dream – well at least as dirty as the mind of a sixteen-year-old teenager who had barely watched porn could think of.

So then, yes, in this second year of high school, practices were really hard and pretty exhausting, and the withdrawal of numbers of his teammates was worrisome enough to make his mind spin out control, but still, Suga hadn't known how to proceed the information. While going to school, he supposed that by dint of spinning out control, his brain had grilled and went loony. How the hell could he be able to talk to his friends normally, without blushing from head to toe and howling in panic ?

But none of this happened. No missing heartbeat when Daichi and Asahi arrived together, no jolt when Asahi slapped his back after a good set, no awkwardness when Daichi came as close as he ever did to talk strategy. He had greeted them as usual and felt no more, no less than every other day.

Thus, as he didn't have to worry anymore about fantasizing about friends, a very vague thought crossed his mind to point out he had had a wet dream about _men_ and no women. But maybe thanks to the relief of his first anxiety, he didn't dwell on it.

His brain went free-style from here. He dreamed about some of his classmates, almost all of his seniors in the team and, in third year, the second years – monogamous mode, thank you very much. He was relieved that his autonomous mind had set aside the first years but really reproached it for the very poor porno scenarii it produced – the worst being he had never really watched any so this actually was the figment of his imagination.

And then, in the middle of his third year, he dreamed a dream that unsettled him much more effectively than the first one with Asahi and Daichi. For the first time, he dreamed about Ennoshita.

What bothered him was that it hadn't been a bad porn, quite the contrary. The fantasy had been worthy the greatest romantic comedies. In a night, he'd lived the awakening of their mutual feelings, a love confession of unmatched romanticism, the first awkward dates, the unforgettable first kiss, their first time with infinite tenderness – they had made love, it had never happened in other dreams –, a wonderful proposal and a grandiose final scene at sunset, on a porch and in comfortable armchairs, with two intertwined wrinkled hands. The full monty. When he rethought of it, Suga always added a 'end' pannel all in arabesque and magnificient background music.

But like the first dream, it had no consequences. Ennoshita remained a teammate with whom he normally talked. However the dream looped in his mind for days before he could process it and draw conclusions. Well, one conclusion. He was gay.

Part of his mind had made fun of him noting he should have known since a year now but strangely enough, he didn't find it so obvious. Yes he fantasized about sleeping with men and never pictured women but it wasn't like he couldn't understand Noya and Tanaka's frenzies, he had never felt awkward with the crude words of his shameless friends and, above all, he had never been attracted to anyone, no boy had ever made his heart pound. So no, really, before this particular dream, it was just fantasies, nothing he wanted to realise.

He wondered why Ennoshita since he hadn't really fallen in love with him and decided it was a matter of safety. His brain was still reasonable enough not to try mixing strong feelings of friendship with love and Ennoshita was the one who fitted the best conditions : a steady and familiar presence, close enough to develop feelings and sufficient distance to not lead to a drama.

From this revelation, men in his dreams became faceless. No more romance, some but they mainly remained erotic. They were strangers, inventions, and occasionally people he briefly met – if someone had been able to read his mind during the volleyball season, they would have labelled him as a pervert.

And that was it. An evidence. He was aware enough to know it wasn't a common orientation, not even really accepted in his country, but confident enough that it didn't bother him as long as it didn't affect his friendships.

No objection, no second guess. Sugawara Koushi loved men.

* * *

Nationals were over, graduation ceremony was some weeks ahead and Sugawara was already packing for his departure to Tokyo, into the college he had been accepted.

His parents hadn't welcomed his choice to stay in the team after their loss at the fall tournament, judging he should have only concentrated on his studies and entrance exams. Fortunately, he was a model student with great grades and had promised them he would maintain his level – which he did thanks to hard work.

But since he received the acceptance letter, now he was admitted in one of the best college in the capital and his fate was set, his mother was over the moon. All the tension in the previous months had gone out the window and she cheerfully talked about her own student life. Actually she talked about everything. A lot. An _awful_ lot.

Suga knew she was just proud of him and was expressing her love, and under normal circumstances he wouldn't have minded – he talked as much as her at home and had always felt nothing but respect for his dad who beared them never getting bored of it. The thing was, between chatter about university, vacations, family or the novelties of this excellent pastry in town, one of the more recurrent topic was romantic relationships.

After mentioning a youth sweetheart or relating for the umpteenth time the meeting with his father, she would innocently inquire the number of confessions he had received, if he was interested in someone or if he remembered Whatisname's daughter, until his father came to his rescue laughing to tell Koushi had time and college was the perfect place for a wonderful idyll, a knowing blink supporting his remark.

He didn't have to lie since he indeed wasn't interested in anyone but the unease he felt when the subject came out again made him think of the possibility to tell them about his sexual orientation. He was convinced for good the day his mum started to add half jokes about future silver haired grandchildren she'd bounce on her lap.

For days, uncertain how to proceed, he had surfed dedicated forums and read dozens of testimonies, some of which had brought him an anxiety until then tenuous. He eventually determined he just had to dive not thinking too much, Sugawaras being ones great with communication.

He chose the quiet after-meal tea time, in a week-end, waiting for his parents to finish discussing the next neighbourhood flea market before launching into.

“I have an important thing to say to you.”

With such an introduction, both his parents' attention came immediately on him.

“Is this about college ?” his mother asked straight away in anxiety.

“No, all is fine with it. I'm really excited to go to Tokyo” he reassured her.

She blew a sigh of relief but her husband certainly considered it prematured as a worried wrinckle put a line on his brow.

“I don't see thousands of ways to tell it so I'll be blunt. I am gay.”

He had spent hours hesitating between this term and 'homosexual' to finally decree it was a bad idea to include a 'sexual' notion in his annoucement – even in abbreviated form that suggested it.

Although he had relatively felt serene and in control, cold sweat spread over his body when he said the last word. His fingers froze, a faint nausea amplified the taste of tea in his mouth and his chest constricted. He had to force his head to stay up and to look at his parents not turning away.

At first, they assimilated the news fixing him not telling a word, his father's eyes blinking, his mother's wide open. Suga knew well they were integrating the information and were more or less waiting for him to complete what he said with something displaying they had heard it wrong. He didn't.

They exchanged a look that lasted several seconds then his mother came back on him, opened her mouth, closed it, swept around her eyes before they fell on her cup. She took it in a slow motion to drink a swallow with a confused look. His father straightened on his chair, made a movement of his neck to relax it and cleared his throat.

“You like... men ?” he asked in a neutral tone looking him square in the eyes.

Suga wondered if the hesitation was the result of discomfort or of a pick with 'boys'.

“Yes. I know since about a year ago.”

He took a glimpse of a nervous movement from his mother. He succeeded to clearly express himself but the cold in his hands now jabbed them with thousands of needles.

“Have you already...” his father frowned stopping by himself then went on. “Are you dating someone?”

“I've never been with anyone” he sincerely answered.

His mother let out a tiny exclamation and reached out his arm with her hand, a faltering smile on her lips.

“Honey, you can't know then” she told him with her softest voice.

“I wouldn't have tell you if I wasn't certain.”

Her smile flickered and her hand made a twitch but she strengthened the pressure on his arm and widely smiled.

“You know, adolescence is not an easy period at all. Your body changes, your mind is in turmoil, you have to decide your future knowing you'll have to leave people you love and live by yourself. It's normal to... to ask yourself questions and to feel lost.”

“It's like this for everybody” his dad intervened with an easy laugh. “My own parents had quite the hard time when I was a teen. And there wasn't this wealth of informations you have to deal with those days, between the multiplication of the media and social networks.”

“It's just because you're not used to it, we rather consider the Internet helps us to get a clearer picture” Suga declared having anticipated this argument. “And I don't feel lost. I have no doubt about who I am.”

The vise in his chest tightened more and more, he was under the impression his respiration stopped as thought he felt his breath come and go.

His parents shared a look again. His mother's hand had started to smoothly stroke his arm.

“You never were interested on a girl ?” his father finally questionned.

He remembered his reaction the day Shimizu had taken his hands to warm them. The manager was a really pretty girl, of this beauty intimidating regardless of gender, and he perfectly well knew his calamitous comment about marriage had come from the match stress combined with the memory of Noya and Tanaka's deliriums. Yet in all sincerity, he admitted what he thought of his friend, regretting it immediately when a glimmer of hope enlightened his mother's eyes.

“You may be... how they say ? Bisexual ?” his father suggested.

The caress on his arm ceased and he saw his mum send an upset glance to the man, before relaxing and smiling again.

“That might be” she affirmed resuming her stroke. “You're too young. Even at our age, we're still discovering things about ourselves, so as a teenager... It's okay to explore everything in front of you. It's even healthy, as long as you preserve youself obviously, it means you've got a spirit of discovery and it's important to forge the adult you'll become. The world has so much to offer, you didn't even cross the treshold.”

“For now you're curious” his father confirmed. “We can talk about it after your studies.”

“And if I bring a boyfriend one day ?”

He wondered how normal his voice had come out, once it passed the lump in his throat. Once again a silence and shared glances.

“We'll see when we get there.”

His mother grabbed his hands on hers and placed on them a tender kiss with a “I love you” filled with all the love she had inside, and his father nodded to him offering his best smile.

_

He closed the door of his room in a trance, groggy.

It could have gone worse... He had read testimonies of people who had been thrown out and had never seen their family again, others who had ended up in hospital, some who... testimonies of third party...

Of course he had dreamed his parents understanding with a chuckle, saying that they didn't care, that they couldn't wait to meet the man who would catch his heart. There were stories like this on forums too.

But it was normal. His parents worried about him. They wanted the best for him, a joyful and peaceful life. It simply was the proof of their love. It was normal...

Someone knocked at the door and his father's voice asked permission to enter. Suga was on his bed and the man sat at the edge of it with a comforting smile, remaining silent for a moment.

“There was this guy in college...” he finally said. “Honestly, I've never met anyone as beautiful as him, man or woman. I was always impressed when he was talking to me. I wasn't the only one.”

His son looked at him and frowned. With the first phrase, he had thought he wanted to tell him that 'he went through a phase too' but it looked like he was picking up on what he had said about Shimizu.

“I had a homosexual friend before I met your mum” he continued. “She didn't hide it and I can tell you in those days, it was really more complicated than now. Her family had disowned her when she told them and she lived here and there at friends' until she would have enough money to pay a rent.”

His eyes were lost outside, oblivious of Suga's extreme attention.

“She was an amazing person, of remarkable intelligence and with an unrivaled free spirit. She also was very provocative, she imposed what she was to the world more than she should have, till one too much provocation...”

“What happened ?” Suga asked as his father paused, sad face.

“She braved the wrong people. A band beat them to death, she and her partner. It was all over the front pages for weeks then we never heard of it again. People... In media and officially, they would tell it was a terrible hate crime, that it was wrong. But the popular and private opinions suggested they had it coming.”

His son blinked, uneasy, his eyes close to mist.

“Ah ! Neither I nor my friends thought that !” he rapidly precised. “I indeed thought that she should have kept a low profile but she certainly didn't deserve any of this and her agressors were entirely responsible.”

Suga nodded, excoriating himself for focusing on details like 'imposed more than she should' or 'keep a low profile' when his father was proving him he really was a good man.

“We love you, Koushi” he declared gazing a sincere look in his eyes. “Whatever happens, whatever your choices, even if we don't agree, you are our only son and nothing will ever change that. And it's because we love you that we have the duty to let you know when we think you're making bad choices. The one you told us about will put your life at risk in many ways, physically and socially, and that's why we consider it wrong.”

“It's not a choice” Suga murmured, eyes really watering.

His father brought a sweet hand to his head to caress his hair, letting it on the back of his crane.

“I know how hard it is to understand at your age but the one you are today isn't the one you'll be in ten years or even next year. You being gay is a potentiality among many others and I can assure you we aknowledge it. If it turns out you are, we'll accept it. It won't be easy, I can't lie to you. I would like to tell mostly because of your mother but the truth is I too dream of vacations with little kids looking exactly like you.”

His smile was soft saying that and Suga wondered how much the pain he felt inside reflected in his eyes. His father applied a push on the back of his head to draw him closer and kiss his headfront.

“You are what you are and we'll always love you for this” he finished in certainty.

After his leaving, Suga curled up on his bed. He should have been happy to have parents who made all those efforts for him, the unfair son giving them so much trouble, who were ready to consider accepting him for what he was. 'It won't be easy...'

Tears flowed on his face.

“No dad” he thought in a sob. “I am _who_ I am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you think it needs more tags, don't hesitate to tell me (well, it's on purpose for other couples than DaiSuga, to keep the surprise ^^)  
> I know Haikyuu since the first season (and yes, one day, I'll eventually read the manga ^^') but it's only been a month or so that I read fanfics, mostly because I was starving for DaiSuga after having read all of the doujins – not enough! – I could read in English (and thanks to the confinement...).  
> In fanfics, I nearly only knew Harry Potter fandom (and more vaguely Naruto and Fake) and it maybe just comes from the fact I don't read other fandoms but I'm amazed with all that I read. First the stories in themselves – I was only looking for entertaining and pleasant fics and I discovered masterpieces of emotions – but also the extraordinary representation of the LGBT+ community. Sincerely, you AO3 Haikyuu fandom are awesome ! *.*  
> And I have to thank you for showing me other paths than DaiSuga and AsaNoya, lol.


	2. Getting together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a rude college year, Suga comes back in Miyagi with the firm intention to finally come out to his friends. It could be a bit more complicate to do so than he thinks.  
> And where the hell those out-of-the-blue feelings toward Daichi comes from ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's the DaiSuga !  
> There are many notes at the end. Not really necessary but read them if you have a little time since I have some questions ^^

Getting together

His forehead leant against the train window, gaze lost into the landscape presenting more and more forests, fields and villages. Three years... Suga thought it mighted as well have been three months.

Where had gone days, weeks, months? He remembered the graduation ceremony like it was yesterday, the tears in Asahi's eyes, his own misty ones, Daichi's just as much. The worst had been Noya and Tanaka, blubbing like waterworks, even though Hinata hadn't coped much better.

They had met again several times. Regularly the first college year, a little less the second one, and this third year had been so busy, Suga hadn't come back in Miyagi for all the academic year, not even to see his parents. Between his part-time job, the numbers of records and term papers due, the year had been a chaotic whirl which he still was amazed to have survived – and diploma in hand.

Daichi was the one who suggested they all meet to celebrate the end of their studies – well, end of the first college cycle at least. Almost everyone from their last Karasuno team would be there and Suga was looking forward to learn how their year had gone.

Far off in the mountain, a shrine fleetingly appeared, drawing a smile on his lips. He was getting closer. Within a little over an hour, the train would drop him at his station, his town, home. He felt his heart tighten and let the excitement spread in his body while the scenery was increasingly becoming familiar. This feeling had never gone away from his departure, it felt like it would never, this joy constantly renewed when he came back to the prefecture of Miyagi. And he wasn't really sad when he had to leave, he just felt satisfied, more confident, assured he could peacefully lead his way and come back another time.

Seeing everyone again was a welcomed event in the hyperactivity of his student life and a great diversion for the desert of his romantic one. He had dated three men in his first two college years, eventless stories, which had lasted several months, ended mutually and that he didn't regret. The second one had open up a pleasant but unremarkable sexual life to him, classic being the best qualifier to define it. He was the only one since he had never passed the kissing stage – and a bit more – with his last. The commotion of his third year preventing any love affair.

He received with a sigh a pinching in his heart mingled with the joy to pass a rock formation indicating he was just a few minutes away from his stop. It was high time he finally talks to them but, even thought he had no hesitation, it was still difficult.

Suga hadn't intented to hide from the team – or at least from his best friends – his sexual orientation, but one way or another, he had never found the right time to talk about it. After the exchange with his parents, he had actively looked for any opportunity presenting. At some point someone would tease him about his love life or all of them would talk about their kind of girl and, when asked, he would answer he rather had a kind of boy – which wasn't true but he liked the theatrical side of this line. Except...

Except none of this ever happened. First because Noya and Tanaka were so deep in their delusion with Shimizu they nearly never talked about other girls, next because, as a result, the rest of the team had its fill of the subject, and last because he got stuck with the two guys the least keen on the topic the world probably ever knew.

Asahi, Daichi and he talked about a lot of things, really. More than once they had got into philosophical debates about universe, future or volleyball – and yes, even today although he didn't get to play as much, he considered the last one as one of the deepest discussion he ever had. They talked about everything but girls... or love for that matter. Quite the opposite with his classmates whose it was the main topic – but he had never felt the necessity to outed himself in front of them and he just gave basic answers when they added him in the conversation.

Obviously, he could have done it like those on forums who just directly announced it and waited for reactions. But Suga found this process... forced, for lack of a better term. What reason would he give to make such an annoucement ? It wasn't like it was a vital information. He hardly saw himself casually declaring it between conversations. “That's the best strategy against Fukurodani. Ah, by the way, I'm gay. Do you remember where we left the bentos ?” Seriously...

So the year had ended with none of them knowing about this and, roughly for the same reason, he had never got the chance to tell them afterwards.

But the last time had been slightly different. They had met just before the start of the school year and Yamaguchi and Yachi had announced, blushing to the hair tips, that they were dating. The first years – well, in fact the graduated third years – were of course aware of this and the others had congratulated them. They made a nice pair and, if Suga remembered, Yamaguchi had always had a soft spot for the manager, since the first time he had seen her. Really, he had been happy for them. But when he had found himself with Asahi, Daichi and Kiyoko to have a drink later – as they always did – he had realised he really needed to talk about his last relationship that just had ended, and he couldn't do this without coming out. He had been this close, but Asahi's anxiety attack, who hesitated to dropp out and start to work – which he eventually did – had taken all the time.

This time he was ready. Straight out – well... He'll wait for everyone to be here, clink glasses with them, and when his turn to talk will come, he'll quietly announce it. Some would be a bit shocked, at least surprised, and maybe Asahi and Daichi would reproach him for saying nothing before – although... – but overall he wasn't anxious. He knew and trusted them, he didn't fear a hostile reaction like he had with his parents.

Yes, this time without fail, Sugawara Koushi would come out to his friends.

* * *

Suga stopped in front of the bar where they were meeting and took a look inside. He immediately spotted his friends thanks to Hinata's flaming hair. It looked like most of them were already there. He smiled when Hinata, gesturing widely to support whatever he was saying, almost tumbled down his chair and was abruptly caught by Kageyama who started to yell at him, provoking one of their usual arguments. He let out a chuckle at the familiar scene, old habits died hard.

A truck drove down the street, its headlights reflecting on the window pane and blinding him for a moment. When his eyes adjusted again, he ran onto his own reflection and his hand absently stroked a cowlick.

More than ten months went since the last time he came home. He had time to go through a new – and certainly last – growth spurt meanwhile. Something he didn't care in absolute terms but part of him was still relieved to catch up with Asahi and especially Daichi, who had grown several inches after high school. In itself, it didn't matter, Suga had never been one to concern themselves with their size, but nevertheless it had been a little irritating to have to look up when talking to Asahi _and_ Daichi the last time. Well, there was still a chance he had grown up himself again.

“You're trying to freeze to death in order to survive our former teammates' warmth ?” an amused voice asked behind him.

Suga giggled and answered without turning around as he recognised the voice.

“For that, I need a trip to Antarctic not a winter in the mountains.”

Daichi laughed in turn and Suga turned over to salute him.

“I'll think about this for the next time” the ex captain promised with an half-serious tone.

His friend nodded but his smile twitched a little.

Daichi hadn't really grown up – if the level of his eyes was any indication, they were in the same size again – but he had changed. He had lost the last features of his adolescence, his jaw line was much more definited, his dimples were a bit wider and his eyes, which had always been frank and confident, had matured. He still was Daichi, an undisputably adult Daichi.

Suga didn't like, _not at all_ , the knot in his throat that prevented him to correctly greet his friend, and he liked even less the missing heartbeat when Daichi vigorously hugged him, like he had always used to since the end of high school, in memory of unforgettable matches.

“It's good to see you again!” the dark-haired exclaimed to his ear.

He moved away at arm's length, hands on his shoulders, a wide happy smile endorsing his remark.

“Almost a year, now. We were starting to believe Tokyo had gobbled you and Noya was contemplating to send out a search party with Tanaka. Between you and me, we would have seen you again before them.”

Suga strained a little laugh at the joke and Daichi slapped his shoulder.

“Come on, I think you're really congealing there.”

This line was certainly due to his lack of response and he followed him shaking his head to clear it. This final year of cycle had _really_ put him upside down.

He was directly assailed by Noya and Hinata and quickly drowned in a tide of joyful embraces when Tanaka, Yachi, Kinnoshita and Narito joined them.

“Everybody's here?” Suga wondered as he saw some that normally couldn't.

“Everyone made time” Noya confirmed drawning him to the table so he could sit. “We're just waiting for Asahi. He said he would be here soon.”

He greeted those who had the good sense not to attack him right at his entry.

Well, it was perfect for his plan he judged, looking out of the corner of his eye Daichi sit beside him after shaking hands with Ennoshita. He thought back at his previous confusion... It was almost a year since the last time they had seen each other and Daichi was still his best friend, even after all those years. He was just feeling a bit too much sentimental after a long period of stress, no doubt.

Asahi indeed appeared no longer after – he underwent the sole assault of Noya – and exchanged a long embrace with Suga. The fair haired man relaxed in the former ace's arms. He had really missed all of them, more than he had realised.

Nishinoya declared himself as the emcee – as usual – and raised his glass high, standing on his chair since Mother Nature however hadn't spared him the gift of releasing his growth – he still had hope.

“To the best team Karasuno ever knew !” he toasted.

“Nice for the others...” Ennoshita commented as his eyes rolled. “Must I remind you the team won nationales after they left _and_ after we did ?”

“I have a great respect and an infinite love for all my kouhais” Yuu assured nodding vivaciously “but for me they'll never be as important as those three !”

He proudly pointed Daichi and Suga with two fingers of one hand and one of the other to Asahi. The last one furiously blushed and raised his hands to moderate his words.

“Be sure Tanaka and you will ever be my favorite wild kids” Daichi retorted laughing.

“To the craziest team Karasuna ever knew !” Suga corrected in conclusion.

“Kampaï !”

Suga emptied more than half of his drink in two gulps – because he was thirsty, nothing to do with his peripherical vision grasping a glimpse of Daichi's Adam's apple when he drank – and looked with amusement at Hinata and Kageyama putting their glasses at the same time, both claiming they had been the fastest. The black look from Ennoshita, more than Tsukishima's irritated whistle, stopped them from coming to blows and Noya took the floor again.

“This evening VIP obviously is our worshipped ex-ex-ex vice-captain, the one and only Sugawara Koushi ! And as a forfeit for abandonning us all this months, you're under an obligation to answer whatever we'll ask, no lie, no pass !”

His wide smile denied any reproach and Suga raised his glass to the former libero to show he accepted the punishment. More than perfect. He wouldn't have to make a statement out of the blue. This evening was announcing itself wonderful, especially now that he could put the heat on his chest down to the beer rather than Daichi.

“Before anything else...”

Looks turned to Shimizu, who had sit up straighter and talked in his calm and composed voice.

“We have an annoucement.”

“Yachi and you ?” Yamaguchi asked looking at his girlfriend sitting between Shimizu and him.

“No, _us_.”

It was Ennoshita who had spoken, raising at eye level their intertwined hands.

A stunned silence followed the gesture, Kiyoko and Chikara either one as serene as the other, waiting for reactions.

“You... You're dating ?”

“Yes. We get engaged last month” Shimizu peacefully announced bringing his left hand, to which sparkled a thin silver ring, to Ennoshita's and its twin ring.

The table bursted out in surprise.

“What ?”

“Seriously ?”

“I didn't expect that !”

“It's a dream, I am dreaming.”

“How long have you been dating ?”

“One year and a half” Chikara answered at Daichi's question giving a questioning glance to the young woman. “Remember this time when nobody was free for a meeting like this one ?” he asked when she nodded. “Well Yoko and I were, so we still met up.”

“And we found out we had an affinity with each other” Shimizu ended with a tender look to her fiancé.

“Yo... Yoko ?”

Suga hid his smile in his drink while everyone cautiously turned to Tanaka, who seemed to have got the shock of his life.

“You have a girlfriend, right ?” Narita ventured as tactfully as he could.

“It has nothing to do with it !” Tanaka cried stretching the last word and letting his head fall on the table with big tears.

This didn't upset the couple, who started a conversation with an excited Yachi no letting go of Kiyoko's hand and a starry eyed Yamaguchi. Suga was really happy for them and even found their couple perfectly logical. They formed a balanced twosome, both wise and traditional, it wasn't surprising they got closer together when they had the opportunity to really learn about each other.

However, it interfered with his plan. On one hand, the fact they had never told anyone all this time set a 'legal precedent' for his case – nobody had reacted to this anyway –, on the other he didn't want to take this moment of them with his own secret. He made the decision to report his general coming-out and settled for only doing it with his closest friends, at the afterward. That would be fairer for...

“Yuu !” Tanaka suddenly shouted in the middle of his lament. “You should be devastated too ! Cry with me !”

Now that he was saying it, it was rare – it never happened – for Noya not to join his friend's deliriums. He was at the head of the table, between Tsukishima and Asahi, eyes and mouth wide open frozen on the newly engaged couple.

“They'll kick us out in five minutes” Daichi whispered to his ear.

He expected, like Suga, for Noya to explode and make a terrible rumpus as soon as he would have recovered from the initial shock. And normally, Suga would have answered something like “We make of to the back door at the first sound” or “Chikara usually handles him but here, you'll have no choice”. That's what he could have reply... If his body temperature hadn't increased of several degrees and his muscles hadn't stiffened all at once when Daichi's breath had brushed against his ear. He really had stood too long on the pavement... In february, that wasn't smart of him... It necessarly was it, it could _only_ be it, it was totally _impossible_ to find another reason explaining why he reacted like this with his _best friend_.

Noya finally recovered and pointed a scandalised finger at Ennoshita and Shimizu – Suga inwardly thanked him for diverting his mind of those delirious ideas.

“You stole the show !” he yelled with indignation.

Puzzled looks came from all sights and Suga had just the time to wonder why Asahi had suddenly raised his head to Noya in a state of sheer panic. The little man seized his tall friend's arm and stuck to him.

“We were supposed to have all the spotlight on us to tell you we're dating !” the libero complained with a pout.

The reaction process was almost the same as before, with a long silence followed by shambles of bawlings, except that if Noya seemed proud as can be, a dazzling smile on his face, Asahi didn't do justice to the impassiveness of the engaged couple. He was running his alarmed eyes from one to the other at a crazy pace and ended up on... his partner, apparently, with tears in his eyes.

According to what Noya had said, it was plain that they had worked out to tell them tonight, but Asahi was unprepared for how it had gone.

“But... you're gay ?”

Poor Tanaka seemed to have had it for the evening, googly eyes on his best friend. Suga was reassured to see more surprise than reprobation and found it funny and touching that he only said it to Noya, his almost brother.

“Perhaps ?” Noya replied with a shrug, off-hand. “Sincerely, I've never thought of another dude than Asahi. But Asahi is a guy, so... it must be it, or rather bi ?” he paused, thoughtful, then shrugged again and streched his smile even more. “I love Asahi, that's it.”

He looked at Asahi with limitless confidence speaking his words and the man blinked, taken by surprise. A shy smile appeared on his lips and he slowly nodded, turning to the others not really looking at them.

“And I... I love Yuu” he said with a tiny voice that would have been lost in the hubbub of the bar if the table hadn't been so quiet.

“Mazal tov.”

Everyone's attention deflected to the really neutral and monotonous voice Tsukishima had used to speak before bitting in the yakitori in his hand.

“Shouldn't you have said it at the fiancées ?” Yamaguchi noted.

“Shut up, Tadashi” the tall blonde grumbled, triggering a laugh of his friend.

The enthusiasm was as big as previously and the new couple was bombarded with questions as well. Suga smiled at their attitudes not even feeling an ounce of relief as he never doubted their openness.

“It's breaking news night” Daichi noticed. He seemed to think Asahi was already overwhelmed enough to add another voice at the questioning. “If you want to tell you have a secret child, now is the time” he joked lifting an eyebrow.

“I'll settle with my sex reassignement” Suga retaliated likewise.

How the hell had he come with this answer without spilling the truth, he'd never know – he chalked it up to his third beer. But he now had two certitudes : one, even if he really decided to change his sex, his friends would accept it ; two, there wasn't a ghost of a chance to come out tonight anymore.

* * *

The next morning, Suga woke up with a good and a bad thought. The good one was he hadn't dreamed of Daichi, the bad one was that his first thought had been he hadn't dreamed of Daichi.

He buried his face in his pillow with a grunt of frustration and brought his hand to his brow. No fever, so he hadn't caught a cold yesterday, and he didn't even get a hangover.

Because of the considerable emotional charge of the reunion, the second part of the evening had been called off, or rather postponed, to give time to everyone to recover. They had parted on the promise from Asahi – stammering under Daichi's captain gaze – he'll tell all of the story next time.

Daichi and he had gone a little way together, recklessly chatting and joking. It had been really easy to speak with him like this, walking side by side not looking at each other, wrapped up under pounds of clothes, and really irritating to think he needed this for it to be 'easy'. His voice too had definitely matured... Deeper, also hoarser, and still with this je ne sais quoi of ingenuousness... He strongly hit his head against the bedhead and straightened up, frowning. Cold water on his face could only do good.

“How was your night ? You were home early yesterday” his father asked when he came down for breakfast.

“A lot happened. Engagement announcement, new couples... The evening was eventful so we chose to reschedule a new meeting” he answered taking the teapot from his mother's hand with a smile to prepare the tea for her.

“Engangement ? Is that your two lovely kouhais ? I forgot their names.”

“Yachi and Yamaguchi” he told his mother. “And no. It's Kiyoko and Chikara. Ennoshita Chikara, the one who took over after Daichi.”

“Oh... So Shimizu is getting married...”

Suga looked up from the simmering water and came across her disapointed look. She quickly looked away but the hand slowly rubbing her forearm was betraying herself. He found it preferable to say nothing and put the tea on the table before filling three bowls with rice.

“Congratulations to them” his father felicitated while disposing plates of fish below miso soups before sitting. “Have they already set a date ? You'll have to find a suit for the occasion.”

“It won't be before two or three years at least, they want to finish their studies first.”

“But your dad is right” his mother intervened with a joyful voice. “One must start early, you'll have a wider selection and better price. We could go to the shopping street while you're here, I know a wonderful tailor.”

“I was thinking ready-to-wear...” he tried to moderate her.

He exchanged a face with his father. Since he'd left for college, his mother tended to treat him like a prince each time he came home, cooking her best meals, suggesting outings and always trying to offer him a thing or another. The fact that he hadn't been home for all academic year had visibly worsened her attention.

“No, no. You're a handsome young man who deserves it. You have to look your best if you should meet someone. Weddings are really convenient for that, you know ?”

She was more than casual saying it and put pickles in her mouth with a light and satisfied smile. Once more, her son held his tongue and chose instead to take a sip of soup. He felt more than heard his dad sigh before talking, his tone as calm as his wife's – the routine was rooted.

“Dating anybody these days ?”

His wife's smile and the hand holding her chopsticks briefly tensed. Even if he had been, Suga would have kept it for himself. He didn't wish a remake of the sole time he had told them he had a boyfriend – the second, even if they didn't know. Oh, his mum had reacted appropriately at the time, despite a pause and a full body tension for seconds. She had asked polite questions about his partner which he had answered. She had lasted five minutes then excused herself with a smile, but Suga had had time to see the tears run before she left the room.

“Between my job and college, I barely had time to eat” he joked to lighten the mood.

His mother immediately lifted her head up, worried.

“You eat well, right ? I knew you've lost weight. You...”

“Akemi” his husband gently interrupted “you can see he is in great shape. He didn't lose weight, he grew up and even filled out.”

“Filled out ?” She repeated squinting. “Are you telling me our son is fat now ?”

“I tell you he gained in stature. You were sort of a shrimp when in your teens” he said with a wink to his son, who shook his head and rolled his eyes in mockery.

“Koushi was muscular and _slender_ ” she declared turning up her noise, offended, and insisting on the qualifier. “And you still are, honey. However it's true you've grown up. And that's another reason to go to the tailor. I'm sure half your wardrobe doesn't fit anymore !”

“I'm free wednesday” he gave up in a laugh. “And Hinata told me there was a new tearoom, we could stop here.”

His mother's face lighted up and the breakfast went on with less risky topics.

* * *

Daichi rang the doorbell and tapped his feet to wake up his numb toes, thinking it was really unfair that at just several miles away, nearer to the coast, people were certainly wandering with nothing more than a jacket.

“Hi, Daichi. A boiling hot coffee is waiting for you.” Asahi welcomed him.

“Could you make a foot bath out of it ?” Daichi suggested taking his shoes off, shivering from the change in temperature when the heat in the appartment wrapped him.

“My mum has a foot spa somewhere. I can get it out” his friend very seriously offered watching him removing his socks to massage his reddened toes.

Daichi shook his head in laughters to the real worry of the man.

“The coffee will be enough. If I ever lose a toe, you can tell you warned me.”

Asahi widened his eyes then sighed heading to the kitchen.

“For someone who hasn't seen Suga in months, you sure didn't lose his habits.”

He wasn't wrong. Teasing wasn't really in Daichi's character, but by dint of spending time with his mischevious friend, he had ended up taking some of his naughtiness.

“So... Noya and you ?” he asked while he wrapped his hands around his mug.

“Shouldn't we wait tomorrow night to be with Suga and Kiyoko ?” Asahi tried blushing lightly.

“No way. Suga is punished for his long absence and Kiyoko for never telling a word about Chikara and her. We meet every month and you never ever mentioned your relation, and it's not for lack of talking about him. De facto, I have exclusive right.”

He grinned at him with a smirk without any blame in his voice despite his words. Suga had a difficult year, Shimizu and Ennoshita had all right to keep their relation for themselves and all the same for his two other friends. But he was eager to know the ins and outs that had led the libero and the ace where they were.

Asahi leaned against the couch, thinking about how he should start.

“It's been just a few weeks since we started dating” he finally said. “But the truth is that it began... one year ago maybe... It was more or less around that time. Yuu and I have always been really close but this year, as he had finished high school and didn't go to college, we often saw each other.”

He took a sip of coffee with a pensive smile.

“And one day, out of the blue, he told me he wanted to kiss me.”

Daichi raised an eyebrow. Not that it was so suprising from his direct friend but he hardly imagined Asahi's response to this.

“Panic attack ?” he supposed with an half smile.

“One of the worst in my life” Asahi giggled. “You don't want to imagine, huh ?”

The question accompanied by an odd apologetic expression made Daichi almost spilled his coffee as he briefly bursted out laughing.

“I always thought that one day someone would have to devote themselves to give lessons in tact to Noya” he commented with a wink.

“That's for sure... In his defense, subtelty would have lead nowhere with me. It's not really his declaration that made me panic, it's mostly... because I was flattered someone like him was interested in me ?”

He was spinning his mug between his hand, a little embarrassed.

“You... you know I've never gone out with anyone, don't you ?”

Daichi nodded. And it wasn't because of lack of opportunity. In high school and even after, Asahi had been more popular than some thought. He had a top three with his athletic build, his apparent masculinity and his immeasurable kindness. But those attentions weirded him out and he never accepted any.

“Going out with somebody is a thing I've never been interested with” he confided. “I'm just happy to spend time with my friends but a ro... romantic relationship, I found it too much stressful.”

He blushed from his admission, unaccustomed to talk so freely about this and Daichi gave him all the time he needed to buck up.

“When Yuu told me this, it was the first time such a thing made me happy and didn't freak me out, I didn't know how to react. He immediately added I didn't have to answer right now. It's been a while since he was... ah... er... attracted” he said the word in a tiny voice “to me and he really hoped I'll give him a chance, but he didn't want to pressure me.”

His empty mug joined Daichi's on the coffee table and he let out a big breath to releave the stress he felt telling their story for the first time.

“Every time we saw each other, after this, he asked if I had thought about it. But he did it just once and never insisted, our relation didn't really change, he just wanted to reassure me his feelings hadn't changed.”

“How long did you think about it ?” Daichi chuckled since he knew the outcome.

“Too long ?” he aknowledged with a small laugh. “To tell the truth, I'm still thinking...”

He winced and shrugged.

“I love Yuu. Really. It's just that, sometimes, it's like I should have a clear picture of what it means to date and... I don't ? After several weeks, I was still going round in circles, I was scared of hurting him but I really couldn't picture this kind of relation with him, and I was also scared it would change our friendship if I couldn't do it.

I finally talked to him, because it wasn't fair to let him hope like this. He asked for a try, said that he totally understood it wasn't easy for me. He promised he wouldn't be mad at me if it didn't work, he would be really sad and would need to yell a good cry but he would never remove himself from my life. And... well, it's him, so I believed it.”

Daichi felt a tender smile drawn on his face. That was Noya all over, no doubt he had meant every word.

“We 'tried' for many months and... it happened. It got more and more natural to be with him like this, to kiss him, to cuddle him, to be together other than as friends. And some weeks ago, Yuu asked me if we were dating now. It's the first time I saw him so uncertain, vulnerable, and I realised we were... Not an entirely romantic story, eh ?”

His joke sounded like an apology and Daichi didn't agree.

“The important thing is what you feel for each other, not what's conventionally admitted. I am happy that you are and it's a good thing you can develop your relation at your pace. I really wish for you that works.”

Asahi fondly smiled at him then tilted his head, perplexed.

“You know, I totally trust you so I wasn't really worried with the way you'd react but I was expecting something more... chaotic.”

Daichi blew through his nose with a grimace.

“Before college, I'm sure I would have reacted more like Tanaka” he conceded.

University life had opened his mind to the world much more than he had expected.

The very first day of term, he had been drawn to a crowd in front of the steps of the main building. A young woman with a megaphone was making a fiery speech, her feet firmly planted on the ground ahead a big banner where was written 'LGBT+', the 'LGBT' in rainbow colors and the “plus” white with black outline, all on a white background with a multitude of little '+' in all colors.

At the time, he didn't even know the meaning of the acronym and he hadn't understood everything the militant was saying, neither why the campus security was trying to intervene. Another person from the audience, a woman wearing a very classy three piece suit, boyish cut, had more or less took him under her wing. In fact, the first time she had talked to him, he wondered if she had insulted him.

“You sure look _straight as folks_ !” she had told him in a mocking voice while he was trying to follow the activist speech, frowning.

“Er... Sorry, I'm not good with English.”

She had laughed out loud.

“You seem more lost than a worm in a henhouse. The name's Nariko.”

He had shaken the outstreched hand avoiding to point out that her analogy was weird.

Nariko, in second year, became his guide. For whatever reason, she took a shine to him and she never let him go. Well, 'he'. He teached him that the LGBT+ association of their college was one of the more active in the country – what gave rise to tension between them and the faculty –, and even within it, Nariko was reputed to be a crazy person.

He was born biologically female but had always known he was a man. He dressed most of the time with clothes clearly manly but happened to occasionaly wear dresses and skirts “If women can wear pants then men can wear skirts”. He systematically refused neutral and female pronouns and only accepted male ones. He had never contemplated to have surgery because “I am a man so my body is a man's one”, likewise he had no intention to change his name. He was a pure hetero and thus rebuffed the advances of lesbians. He often clashed with some community members, who accused him to mock them, but he had a laugh at that more than it's worth. “Japan still got a long way to go”, he simply commented.

Daichi didn't pretend to completely unterstand him, rather the opposite, but it didn't matter. He had become a friend whose he loved talking and his sex, his sexuality, wasn't taken into account in their relationship.

“It has always been easy to talk to you” Asahi confirmed when he told him all of this. “I only really figured it out when I started working, because neither you nor Suga ever imposed yourselves on me. Even Suga's teasing never overcomes my limits. I don't think you realise it yourselves but I'm really grateful for who you are.”

“It's a team work” Daichi bantered hidding his surprise.

But it was true he had always tended to reprimand and scowl at those who exceeded the limits of decency in his opinion – besides Nariko had also said something like that. Suga reacted as well but he had a sneakier way to do it, turning the inappropriate comments against impertinents to destabilise them.

“We could go to the shrine with Suga” Asahi suggested. “Sort of a pilgrimage of our high school years.”

Daichi acquiesced to the idea.

When he had found Suga in front of the izekaya, a whole feeling of relief had overwhelmed him. Part of him feared his friend finally couldn't come and when he had seen him there, he had measured the extent of the void his absence had left in his life. The embrace he had given then had been more intense than usual, as to insure himself he wouldn't disappear, just to better enjoy his presence.

Asahi was right, interacting with them had always been foolishly easy and he had understood quickly after high school it wasn't evident in all relationships. Daichi never had a role to play with them – besides when they played volleyball –, never had felt forced to do anything to insure himself or them of his attachment to them.

He frequently saw Asahi since the end of high school – they had gone in the same town – so they never had a net breach as it had been the case with Suga this year. Seeing him again had rekindled his affection for him and if his friend had seemed distant, he had put it on the tough year he had gone through.

Suga matured since the last time and Daichi couldn't have helped but scrutinise all the novelties in his apparence over the night. His delicate features had visibly defined, his cheekbones were more visible than before, making his smiles even warmer, his shoulders had developped, his body choosing the last moment to really man up, even if he was still slimmer than Daichi – it wasn't a feat since Daichi saw himself kind of stocky.

Really, he was eager to see him again...

“You're going out with someone now ?”

The question seemed sudden to Daichi and he denied.

“No one in sight since months.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“For what ?” Daichi wondered.

“Just the smile you made, I thought you were thinking of someone. Sorry for assuming.”

“I was thinking of Suga so you weren't totally wrong” he noted in amusement. “It's really good to see him again.”

“Yes, I can't wait till tomorrow night so we can all talk together” Asahi confirmed.

“ _You_ can talk” Daichi corrected with a merciless glance. “It's the three of you who have tons of stuff to tell. I hope Suga will not feel embarassed about her transition.”

Asahi looked at him with a totally bewildered stare that he answered with a deep laugh. Undoubtedly, Suga's influence came back at full-speed now they had met again.

* * *

Karasuno's former seniors had chosen to meet in a restaurant this time, a place more suited for conversation. Gathered around a nabe, Asahi had already related his story with Noya and Shimizu had just finished hers.

“My mum has practically already bought me the suit and shoes” Suga sighed.

He sprinkled his spoon with shimishi – half as much as he had food in it – and shoved the mixture in his mooth under Asahi's frightened look.

“Careful not to gain weight over the next years” Daichi teased him.

“Bah! I don't gain it so easily and I'm afraid I've reached my limit.”

“You wanted to be as tall as Tsukishima ?” Asahi was surprised.

“Not necessarily _this_ much but it would have been funny to be taller than Daichi by few inches” he answered grimacing at his friend.

“You really have a petty mind” Daichi exhaled, fatalistic. “Well, I'm pretty sure we're the same size now.”

“Without a doubt. You grew older for the better, Suga. You really became a handsome man.”

Suga blinked at Kiyoko with a bit confused look and swallowed the mouthful he had just taken.

“Er... Thanks ? I would return the compliment to you but, to quote Noya and Tanaka, you already were a divinity in high school.”

“Even goddesses beautify.”

She said it with his usual calm before delicately carrying her teacup to her lips – in a perfectly calculated gesture, Suga was certain – under the three men's aghast looks.

“I'm quite aware I should by now, but I'll never get used to your new insurance with words” Daichi grumbled shaking his head.

Kiyoko put down her cup with a little laugh.

“Who would have thought adulthood would change us this much while remaining ourselves.”

“Daichi didn't really change” Asahi noted, doubtful.

“I'm not sure how I should take that” Daichi replied with a sidelong look.

“What I'm saying is that you already were mature and adult when you were captain.”

There was a thinking time then his friend glanced him a neutral look.

“Still not sure.”

“Anyway, I stand by my words, Suga” Kiyoko spoke again. “You must be popular in Tokyo.”

He held back the very annoying, inappropriate and totally irrational reflex to turn to Daichi and shrugged.

“This year was too busy for thinking about it.” He paused then added. “But I've never been the one asking out so I suppose it's kind of true.”

He concentrated on the precarious balance of a mushroom on his spoon then looked up as the silence dragged on. In varying degrees, they seemed shocked, Kiyoko more in the pleasant surprise spectrum, Asahi in the incomprehension one and Daichi... from real shock.

“Would you mind telling me where this habit of hidding your relationships come from ?” he requested. “I don't preach on mines but you at least know about them. If there's a secret keeper contest going on, I would have liked to be notified.”

“Are you really mad at us ?” Suga sincerely asked.

Daichi deeply sighed and ran a hand across his face.

“I'm not _mad_ at you. It's your lifes and your relations have nothing to do with us, and I know you talk when it becomes serious” he smiled at Kiyoko and Asahi. “It's just... I don't know, certainly just my ego a little rattled thinking I don't know so much about all of you. I'll survive” he finished rolling his eyes.

“So you surely won't like what I'm going to say now.”

Three curious stares turned to Suga. He hesitated a moment on the way forwards.

“I've been in three relations at college” he adventured following a condensation drop on his glass with his finger.

“My ego is thrice more rattled ?” Daichi joked as he was waiting for a reaction.

“All with men.”

He raised his head with a faint smile.

“I'm gay.”

Even though he didn't doubt their reactions, his stomach contracted while pending their responses.

“You knew with your first relation ?” Kiyoko gently asked in artless curiosity.

“Not really. I know since the second year of high school... Well, the third in fact” he corrected himself.

“Ah...”

Suga risked a direct look to Daichi's eyes, who didn't seem able to react.

“Okay... I admit 'rattled' is a little weak term.”

He had talked in a deadpan tone, as if he was still trying to process the information. The two others were waiting for his verdict before saying anything else.

“You want me to apologise ?” Suga softly offered.

Daichi immediately frowned.

“For what ?”

“Not to be gay” his friend smiled at the feedback. “For never talking about it before ? I never intented to hide it but...”

“Yeah, not the kind of thing you can come out with in the middle of a conversation” Daichi conceded in his place, breathing out and softening. “There would be only one reason for you to apologise.”

“Which one ?” Suga wondered seeing him play a concerned face.

“In high school... When you understood... Was it hard on you ?”

The fair-haired man felt his heart tighten and his eyes mist under Daichi's seriously worried look. More than Suga, it was clear he would blame himself if his friend had suffered without having realised. He swallowed his feelings with a shivering breath in and adressed him a comforting smile.

“No, not at all. I know it mights sound strange but I lived it really well. Telling to my parents was difficult but, personally, it has always been obvious. And I like to think I would have talk to you if it hadn't.”

He said the last sentence scanning them all, because they were important to him and in truth he had no doubt about this.

“So we can say it's precisely because that didn't matter you never told us before” Kiyoko simply concluded.

Asahi vivaciously shook his head in delight.

“But it's good that we know now ! And... er... I... You...”

He suddenly blushed and looked away mumbling apologies.

“I'm not exactly the most experienced but we can talk about whatever you want” Suga claimed not needing further explications.

The rest of the night, they quickly heard of his relashionships then planned a friendly match with the former team. They split up at an intersection, Suga and Kiyoko on one side, Daichi and Asahi on the other – Asahi had offered a sleepover since Daichi's house was crowded with a family gathering and his own parents were on vacation.

Suga raised his head to myriads of stars invisible in Tokyo while they were quietly walking, breathing out to create a white cloud in the winter cold.

“It's funny to think we're only starting to feel grown up now.”

He looked down to Kiyoko. She had brought his left hand in front of her and was making his fingers play so the ring intermittently shimmered in the light of street lamps, pensive.

“Some of us are still kids” Suga sneered, making her laugh.

“In fact I was mainly thinking of the end of studies” she admitted. “But speaking of which, even if the year didn't leave you any time, is there anybody who attract your attention right now ?”

Only a few days before, the answer would have come faster. He burried his nose in his scarf with a small grunt.

“No.”

Feeling her eyes on him, he watched her of the corner of his eye and ran into a raised and incredulous eyebrow. He estimated a change of topic was relevant.

“Asahi was a bit wrong earlier. Don't you think Daichi has changed as well ?”

He didn't see the woman's eyes slightly widening before she looked ahead again, thinking.

“Specially his build” she finally said.

“Right ?” he exclaimed thinking he got out of trouble. “He makes it feel more adult than Asahi now.”

A chuckle made him look at Kiyoko in surprise.

“Did I say something funny ?”

“No... I just find it remarkable you think of Daichi when I ask if you're interested in someone.”

She had talked in a detached pitch without even looking at him, and he was thankful for this when he felt heat rise on his face, making him plunge again in his coat not replying. They walked a while in silence, Suga quickly realising he had missed the chance to deny any connection. At least Kiyoko didn't seem to find it shocking.

“This is ridiculous” he finally grumbled in his stole.

“What is ?”

“Daichi ?” he replied in obviousness narrowing his eyes to her. “It's... It's just insane. I mean, I view him as a friend for years and all of a sudden, overnight, I'm... attracted to him ? It would make more sense if it was Chikara.”

His friend offered him a clearly amused and curious look that he brushed of with a wave.

“When I'll have drunk several beers and not eaten enough” he muttered to get over it.

“It's not insane. It's more surprising that you never thought about it. Putting aside taste in physical appearance, Daichi is a very good catch. Sincere, fair, responsible, he is a fundamentally good man, like Asahi but with confidence.”

“Because you thought about it ?” he prodded, sure to put her in her place.

“Of course.”

Suga tripped over a nonexistant stone at the shameless confession.

“What ?”

“I've never seriously thought of going out with him but I know I wouldn't have mind if it had happened.” she calmly said.

The man cursed her unwavering peace of mind. If there was one he could never fault...

They reached the crossroad and Kiyoko faced him, waiting. He lost all pretention to pretend and shrugged.

“Anyway why does it matter ? It's _Daichi_. At the end of college, he'll find a perfect job and marry a perfect woman.”

There was no bitterness in his voice as he knew that was just how it'll go. Daichi had always been the embodiment of classic normality, that was part of his charm.

“I'll just let the time go by avoiding thinking about it and the next time I'll come back from Tokyo, I'll tell him I had a crush on him and we'll have a good laugh about it.”

“Asahi and Noya prove that it's not impossible.”

“Aren't they the only ones to whom it could happen, instead ? Look, it... it'll never happen. I don't want to scare Daichi or to make him feel bad because he would have to say no.”

Kiyoko laid a hand on his arm with a smile.

“I didn't say you had to declare to him. I just ask you to seriously think on this and to only consider your own feelings for a start. The three relations you talked about, they were apparently good men, but considering what you told us, it wasn't love. You said it yourself, remember ? You have never felt like you wanted to take the first step.”

She increased a little the pressure of her hand then said goodnight and went her way.

“I never said I wanted to !” he launched watching her go away.

She disappeared at a corner with a wave and he frowned, standing there a moment. He finally strongly rubbed his face and raised his head to the sky with a loud frustration scream.

* * *

Asahi's apartment was lit when they arrived, and Asahi had just taken two steps inside that Noya charged him, jumping on him to pass his arms around his neck and his legs around his waist while planting a kiss on his lips.

“You guys had fun ?”

“As much interesting as last time” Daichi answered instead of his friend, who was tetanised by the attack. Daichi was pretty sure he'll never get used to this.

“You're freezing” Noya stated putting his hands on his lover's red ears – that didn't improve his mood. “I'll go make some tea.”

Daichi patted on Asahi's back with all the sympathy and support he could put in.

They moved into the living room, Daichi on the couch and the couple on the armchair, Noya nestled in Asahi's lap while showing him something in a sport magazine.

Daichi looked at them without listening, letting his mind wander in the diffuse torpor of digestion and room's heat. At first glance, due to the size difference, it was easy to think of them as a little brother demanding his big brother's attention, but the general atmosphere they were drawing was really different. They were glowing with love and happiness and Daichi was glad they weren't shy around him. The way Noya settled himself against Asahi, wrapped up in his embrace, nuzzling now and again on his chest, Asahi's smooth smile as he listened to him, a hand grazing his boyfriend's arm in a slow and constant motion... What a dream...

He wondered if Suga had been so intimate with his former partners, what they could have felt with Suga's back against their torso, his hair tickling their chin, a hand around his waist, his lips on his shoulder, his neck...

“Kiyoko's right...”

His two friends looked at him but he was lost in his thoughts.

“About ?”

“Suga... He really is a handsome man...”

The duo blinked mirrorwise and shared an uncertain look.

“Er... Daichi ?” Noya tried.

But the ex-captain didn't hear him, his eyes had no focus even though he was looking at him. The little man waved a hand in front of him to wake him up.

“Daichi !”

His look finally lightened and took an interrogative air.

“Can we know where this come from ?” Noya inquired, starting to display a smirk.

“A conversation at the restaurant” Asahi replied as Daichi frowned not understanding. “You... er... You were thinking about that, right ?”

“I've said something ?” he asked, puzzled, his eyes going from one to the other.

“You said” Noya announced in a trumpeting voice as he sat cross-legged on Asahi's lap “that Suga was handsome.”

“Oh...”

Well, that was true, just a statement.

“Why have you thought of that ?”

Noya's look was shiny and clearly amused, he seemed really close to make a joke. Daichi stifled a yawn and shrugged.

“Don't know. You looked comfortable and I thought of him” he said not paying attention to his words.

Noya's teasing stuck in his throat. He exchanged a clearly surprised look with Asahi then more accuretly watched Daichi and his ever faraway gaze. Getting closer to the edge of the armchair, suddenly extremly interested, he clarified.

“You mean... When you see us like this, Asahi and I, it makes you think of Suga ?”

The excitement in his eyes was no more mocking at all. Daichi's mind ran up and he squinted.

“Yes ?” he offered more like a question than an affirmation.

Before Yuu had time to shout an euphoric cheer, Asahi spoke.

“Isn't this just because... er... what he said ?” he suggested.

Daichi didn't return. It made sense. He was still a bit troubled by the revelation and it was wearing on him.

“What ? What ? What did he say ?” Noya asked with the energy of an overdrived squirrel.

Asahi pondered.

“I suppose it's okay to tell you” he slowly estimated. “Suga told us he... well... he is gay... erm...”

Noya's eyes went wide open.

“Noooooooooo ? Seriously ? Wha ! He should have tell us the last time, the night would have gone from epic to legendary !”

“Yeah, well, it's _because_ of the two breaking news he didn't” Asahi pointed out.

“Aw, it makes sense” Noya agreed before quickly turning toward Daichi again. “So you realised you were in love with him and you're going to date ?”

“Yuu !” “Eh ? No !”

The double exclamation didn't upset the young man, who jumped on the ground and stood up straight, fists firmly on his hips, before pointing a bold finger to Daichi.

“With the way you were looking at us ? You'll have to be very convincing !”

“Noya” Daichi blew pinching the bridge of his nose. “Suga is the one who's gay, not me.”

“But it's _you_ who think of him while watching us canoodling.”

“Yuu” Asahi whined behind him.

In other circumstances, Daichi would have laugh at his friend's prudishness for this simple phrase.

“It is... It's not... I thought about _the party_ watching you.”

“Really ? Wait a sec, I rewind. You said we looked _comfortable_ and that reminded you of him.”

“Not him specifically, relationships in general. I simply was wondering if he was this close with his own... er... boyfriends.”

“And so, out of the blue, you felt like saying he was handsome ?” Noya insisted, sceptical.

“Of course not ! I just pictured...”

He cut himself off sharply, wide eyes. He had visualised... No, no, that was completely ridiculous.

“Pictured what ?”

He startled noticing Noya had squatted down ahead of him and was scrutinising him with his bigger smile, stars in his eyes.

“I... Maybe I pictured myself in their place but Asahi's right, my mind is just messed up with all of this” he explained as fast as he could.

And it could have make sense. Provided that he could put aside what he had felt the first night. Suga was a dear friend so he hadn't been disturbed with those feelings, but could he really believe he would have reacted like this with Asahi, with whom he was as close, even closer since their university entrance ? Could he find a valid explanation to the way he had stared at him for hours, he who had never been good with faces ? And above all, until when would he ignore this fleeting but very real twinge of sorrow when his eyes had instinctively set on Suga after Asahi and Noya's announcement ?

Noya opened his mouth but Asahi get up in turn and put a hand on his shoulder, that immediately calmed him down. Daichi would have commented the miracle but Asahi beated him to talk.

“Daichi, when you pictured both of you on this armchair, what did you feel ?”

Knowing Asahi, the question was more innocent than it seemed. It was a safe bet that he had asked it so he could perk up and give a clear answer. The problem was that the answer was indeed crystal clear.

“I... I don't like men” Daichi observed as to remind it to himself.

His comment was welcomed by two sorry half smile. He grunted and rubbed his face. Right, not an argument for them.

“Remember when you came last time ? When I asked you if you had someone in your life and you were thinking of Suga ?” Asahi softly asked.

“Yes ?” Daichi prompted not getting a clue what he meant.

“You know very well I'm not the one to ask this kind of thing” he persisted hopping his friend would add up one and one by himself.

Daichi almost asked him to stop his riddles when the evidence kicked him. What face had he made for Asahi – Asahi ! – to encroach in his romantic life ?

“I...”

But his brain had given up making excuses and planted a sign 'They're right' in capital and fluorescent letters.

“You don't fall in love so fast” he moaned throwing his head back in last resort. “Certainly not with a long-time friend !”

“The heart has his reason...” Asahi simply declared in excuse.

Noya stomped, an overexcited squeak leaving his throat.

“This is love ?”

Nariko would have a so good laugh when he'll tell him...

* * *

The day of the visit at the shrine, Daichi was so stressed to see Suga again that he arrived a good quarter of an hour early. His parents had reproached him not to participate enough at the annual family gathering and he had to show his face, preventing him to see his friend before.

But still, that gave him time to put his ideas in order. For some reason, he indeed had fallen in love with his longtime best friend, friend disclosing himself as gay in the wake, which didn't necessarily put his things together for him. It was pretty clear Suga only saw him as a friend and _never_ had thought of him on the romantic side. Nothing in his behaviour led to believe it. So Daichi didn't have an ounce of a fragment of a morsel of an idea what he should do.

Part of him really wanted to declare his feelings for Suga, because, after all, chances weren't totally zero, you only needed to look at Asahi and Noya. On the other hand... he didn't want their relations to become awkward if he should reject him or, worse, come to think his own coming-out had got him 'curious'.

He picked up his cellphone and scrolled through his conversation threads to open Kiyoko's. She had sent him texts the day after the restaurant and Daichi still didn't know what to think – and not just because that came no longer after he had called her before.

  
  


_**Kiyoko** – Suga and I got back all right yesterday._

_**Daichi** – Good. I hope you didn't catch a cold._

_**Kiyoko** – No... The conversation kept us warm..._

  
  


Daichi had found it strange that she debriefs on their walk the day after but her answer was even more cryptic. It had looked like she wanted to continue the discussion.

  
  


_**Daichi** – You had so much to talk about after the restaurant ?_

_**Kiyoko** – Suga has many things in mind right now..._

_**Daichi** _ _– er... ok ?_

_**Kiyoko** – Enjoy your walk at the shrine on sunday. Don't hesitate to ask him questions. Have a nice day._

  
  


Seriously, where was she going with all those ellipsis at the end of sentences as he should have known what came next ?

What he understood – or thought he understood – Suga had told her something on the way back that she couldn't tell him but that the young man would not evoke by himself in front of him. There was an irritating side to think Suga confided in her on things he didn't in him – which was totally unfair to think on his part but he couldn't help it.

And the stranger thing was that she hadn't sent it to Asahi. When Daichi had shown him the messages in hope he'll get it, Noya – who had of course sneaked in – had exclaimed it was without a doubt about him, waggling his eyebrows in innuendo. Daichi had rolled his eyes to the assumption.

“Hi Daichi ! It's mild today, we're lucky.”

A luck or a curse, Daichi thought greeting in turn, as a nicer temperature meant lighter clothing. Didn't he get rid of this teenage modesty during his first college year ? Thanks Suga to plunge him back right into it.

“Well, it lessens the risk of injuries. The ice on the staircase can be treacherous.”

He was proud of himself to successfully get over his body inspection with the head motion he made from his phone to Suga's face. He had seen it at the izekaya but it was another thing when he could detail him from head to toe. He gained build and didn't really lose the muscles he had got by playing volleyball for years. Daichi enjoyed the irony that made him attracted to his friend now he was more virile.

A buzz from his phone informed him of a text from Asahi.

  
  


_**Asahi** – Sorry, I can't come finally. Have fun, I'll see you next time._

_**Asahi** – Go for it, Daichi !_

  
  


Daichi grunted no doubting that the second text was Noya doing.

“Asahi can't make it” he announced as Suga glanced him a questionning look at his reaction.

“So, let's go. It's a pity, I've always found that Asahi's height was practical not to get lost in the crowd” he joked slipping into the important influx of this sunday.

They climbed the endless stairs chatting about the family gathering at Daichi's. Suga came often enough when they were in high school so that he knew each member of the Sawamura tribe and would be interested in their whereabouts. The topic held through the long minutes of waiting for the prayer and Suga chuckled after having clapped his hands and made his wish.

“Never tell him but it feels like something's missing without Asahi's mushi speech.”

“It's supposed to be a pilgrimage so nostalgia is required” Daichi granted him as they headed towards the viewpoint that overlooked the town.

It was crowded and they could enjoy the view only for a little time before moving away to an airier space.

“You'll still be here next Saturday ? It's an open date for everybody for the match.”

“I stay for another two weeks and have nothing planned. The guys from the neighbourhood association are still there ?”

Daichi widened his smile and mimed Suga's victory sign that he always made when he had good news.

“Ukai offered we meet at Karasuno.”

“Really ?”

Suga couldn't believe it. He had gone back to his high school some months after he left to visit the team and never ever set foot in since then.

“The team has practice in the afternoon and we can use the hall afterward. Of course on condition that we play a game with the kiddos before.”

“Ukai takes his coach role much more seriously since his status is official” Suga noted in amusement. “And seriously ? Kiddos ?” he repeated rolling his eyes.

“I just use his expression” he laughed.

“Well” Suga sighed “maybe we unfortunately are old enough for that high schoolers won't be shocked if we call them like this. Sure that with a grown up looks like yours, they'll give you five more years” he teased.

Daichi acquiesced but didn't respond as Suga looked away to a loud bunch of children passing by them. For a reason or another, Daichi estimated it was the right time.

“So... It seems you had quite the talk with Kiyoko ?” he casually said.

He hadn't expected Suga's vivacious response. He suddenly turned his head back to him with bulging eyes.

“What ? She talked ? You asked ? What did she tell ?”

Disturbed by his quick reaction and his speaking rate, Daichi raised his hands as sign of appeasement.

“Nothing. She just implied you had a serious talk.”

Suga gauged him squinting then let out an exasperated sigh while lowering his head and placing his hands on his hips.

“Kiyoko...” he irritatingly mumbled.

He stood like this for a moment then abruptly lifted his head again to plant his stare in his friend's, stratling him. Eyes still narrowed, he dithered another moment before grabbing him by the wrist to drag him around not letting him the occasion to protest.

He took him to a path overgrown with branches that disappeared on a side of the shrine and made his way through it not letting go of Daichi. They walked a whole minute then ended up behind the shrine, in a small desert clearing. Daichi would have appreciated the beauty of the place if he hadn't still been so surprised with the turn of the events.

Suga released him but stayed back to him, muttering under his breath like he had all way long. He finally kept quiet and turned, straight and frank eyes.

“What's the point to grow so much in maturity ? And this jaw ! Who do you think you impress ?”

The question really sounded like a reproach but, as Daichi wasn't sure to know why, he refrained from apologising and waited for additional text. Suga sighed again and pressed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger, leaving the hand on his brow as irritation vanished.

“Look... I think if I don't talk about it, it'll bother me for a really long time. I'm entering second cycle at the start of the new term so I won't exactly have available memorial space in my brain and I don't want to screw up the year because of this with all the hard work I went through.”

“er... Okay ?” Perhaps he needed subtittles more than critical analysis after all...

“Don't... Don't take it litterally, ok ? This year fucked me up. I've never felt so secluded before and, really, I'm okay now, but it's still recent and, _without_ a doubt, it's just some remains of resistant sequelas that will shortly disappear.”

If his friend continued to look for more excuses to _what he hadn't tell him yet_ , Daichi was certain to get an anxiety attack.

“It might well be...” Suga ultimately spoke with a calculated slowness “that I developed a tiny crush on you.”

Suga's smile was oscillating between sorry and bitterness and he took Daichi's sudden tetany in the wrong way so he hastened to precise.

“Just a crush. Promise. It's... ah... It's totally silly, I know. And I didn't intend to tell anyone but Kiyoko... Well, you know how perceptive she can be, and she has beat the truth out of me. And I know she wouldn't have let it go, it would have systematically returned to the table, so...”

Daichi had moved. He'd get closer to grab both of his ams, that had efficienly cut his friend's litany.

“Yeah, you too will always be my friend” Suga quipped not succeeding in hidding the apprehension in his eyes.

Daichi let through seconds, offering a reassuring smile to his friend, then raised an eyebrow.

“Calmed down ?”

Suga nodded not daring to open his mouth anymore.

“Good.”

Then he hesitated. His instinct told him to kiss him right now, no notice, and maybe to talk over afterward. But his inner voice – that really sounded like Nariko's – drew his attention to the fact one shouldn't kiss people like that, without consent. That was a shame, it would have been easier.

“You matured too...” he carefully started.

The confusion on his face motivated him to go on.

“You don't look like a teen anymore. Before they could easily call you cute but now you're just _gorgeous_ and your smile is more ravishing than ever.”

“Eh ?”

Daichi couldn't hold back a laugh to the no less than dim-witted expression of the man he had just praised. Perfect, so he was the one, for once, that unsettled others.

“You're right, it's silly, but it's just how it is. Suga, I think I have a crush on you.”

'And maybe a little more...' but first things firsts.

It was Suga's turn to freeze. He finally shook his head and tilted it to the side with an odd grimace.

“There's an echo here. Sorry, you were saying ?”

“Suga. It's okay. Unexpected, for sure, but it's okay. If...”

“No! No, no, no and no.”

He vigorously shook his head from left to right to support his refusal.

“It's foolish, Daichi. Seriously, what's the next step ? What do we do from here ?”

“We could...”

“The question was rhetorical !” he abruptly cut him short.

They let out the same sigh of frustration and stood here for a moment just looking at each other.

“This is really ridiculous.”

“This is so ridiculous.”

They had unintentionally talked at the same time and Suga reacted with a smirk after a second of surprise.

“So what ? Playing soulmates now ?”

“Better than _sole_ mates” Daichi snapped back with a nutty smile, very proud of himself, and Suga crinkled his nose looking at him in judgement for the bad pun.

“Yeah... You shouldn't do that...”

“That's mean... True. But mean.”

This time, Suga peered at him askance, he didn't like the good mood he expressed in this situation.

“And so...” Daichi began not continuing.

“It's insane ! You... We are friends ! We were strictly nothing else just one week ago !”

“We could... give it a try. Follow Asahi and Noya's steps.”

“A try ? Daichi, I'm about convinced you're just reacting to my delirious emotional state.”

“We could see where we go with a kiss.”

“You'd kiss your own brother ?” Suga crossly retorted.

“You're not my brother...” Daichi breathed out.

He got a little closer, gaze focused on the man's recalcitrant lips.

“I could !”

“But you aren't... Just a try ? Must I remind you that you are the one who's sure to be gay and I am the one discovering with horror their sexuality ? _I_ should be panicking.”

“First, _yes_ ! You should. Second, it's wrong, you're the most likely to realise his mistake.”

“Yeah... I don't think no...” he vaguely answered.

He didn't hear anymore what Suga was saying, more and more hypnotised by his lips. He slided his hands from wrists to shoulders in a trance while his friend carried on with his opposition.

“You're clearly not in your normal state. You know what we'll do ? We'll leave this place and go drink a beer at...”

Daichi's hands reached his head, envelopping it with fingers in his hair and thumbs on his temples.

“Am I talking or am I thinking, now ?” Suga asked, stunned by his behaviour.

Daichi almost replied, a goofy smile on his lips, but Suga was quicker.

“Don't even try...”

He closed his mouth, not losing his smile, amused.

“Daichi...”

His thumbs moved, slowly stroking the soft skin staying put. He get even closer.

“We really shouldn't” Suga faintly whined, less convinced than before.

“Why not ?” Daichi whispered as their noses touched.

“We shouldn't...” Suga repeated in a nearly inaudible voice.

Under his fingers, Daichi felt Suga's blood pounding.

“Suga... Koushi...”

The blood stopped.

“Not fair...” he shivered before lips meet his.

No more than a simple pressure, slight, like butterfly wings, but it melt Suga's mind into mist and firmly anchored Daichi's body to the ground. Daichi barely stepped back, lips still brushing.

“It's weird...” Suga commented in a distant voice.

“Yeah...”

And he kissed him again, more firmly. One of his hand dropped to his cheek while the other went down encircling his waist and Suga responded to the embrace by putting his arms around his back, parting his lips to deepen the kiss. They remained like this an endless time, discovering, learning, and Suga eventually gently broke the grasp, leaning his forehead against Daichi's, slowly breathing to recompose his emotions.

“You're not gay, Daichi” he sighed.

“May not ? But I don't exactly have _straight_ thoughts about you.”

Suga frowned at the amused remark then buried his face in his shoulder while hitting him in the flank, which was welcomed with a very satisfying painful exhalation.

“Give it a try ?” Daichi proposed again rubbing the attacked area with a hand and caressing silver hair with the other.

“How come you seem so sure about this ?”

Daichi pushed him back a little so he could look into his eyes, putting all the confidence and evidence he felt inside in his gaze.

“Because it's you.”

The reply echoed in Suga. If only one reason could be, it was Daichi. He threw his head back and closed his eyes growling.

“If we don't even need Asahi anymore for emotional sequences !”

“Don't worry, we'll find him another utility.”

Suga get his head straight and solidly grabbed Daichi's face to impose a brief but deep kiss that let both of them out of breath when he released him.

“Ok ! Give it a try ! Then, let's go have this drink ?” he uttered as he exited the clearing.

Daichi followed suit with a delay time. He thought he would have to cherish the memory of this short and obviously sole moment where he had had a stranglehold on Suga. He smiled to himself looking at Su... Koushi pressing him because he was thirsty.

They really had changed, but they would ever be the same.

* * *

Everything came together in a disconcerting simplicity afterwards.

The try became a relation within a few days and when they had to split up to go in their respective university, the fear of long-distance didn't affect them. They knew each other for years, trust was an intrinsic part of their bond and they were used to long separations. What was new was this lack of the other's presence, his hand on his, his skin within reach of lips.

They welcomed this new affinity in a so natural way they found it puzzling themselves, making them hilarious for a while when they thought about it. They turned out passionate, starving. The tender modesty that had followed their trip at the shrine flied into pieces the first time they met again after their separation, when Daichi came to Tokyo for a weekend. Their body had colapsed into each other the second the appartment's door closed and all notion of prudence, all resolution to take it slow to step from friendship to love, dissolved in a feverish and irrepressible embrace. Once the fever had died down, panting one over the other on the couch as they didn't even made it to the bed, they had looked at each other, realising what they had done at the same time, and bursted out laughing at the extent of their incontrollable urges. Daichi didn't get to sightsee Tokyo this time.

Going out with Suga was so simple that the day a college's friend asked him if it had been hard to accept his part of homosexuality, Daichi realised the question hadn't arised. He had thought about it when the feelings were new and troubling, when he risked to damage their friendship. But that was before, before the kiss at the shrine, after it was only Koushi, and even when he had to relearn to make love, it had never been a consideration. Loving Koushi, making love with him, was as natural as breathing, nothing to think about, nothing to rationalise, just act and feel.

Suga could have worried for him, feared that one day his friend would blame himself for succumbing to tentation, say it was a mistake and go find his perfect wife. Anyway the thought had grazed him a second when one of his exes talked about it because he didn't believe in heteros turning homos. After all it was a valid argument, one he had made himself. But that was before, before the kiss at the shrine, after it was only Daichi, and even when he had to teach him how to prepare for penetration, it had never been a consideration. Falling in love with Daichi only brought one question, that would ever echoed Kiyoko's surprise, how come hadn't it happened sooner ?

Two years had passed away since this february day at the shrine and there was still this spark, this fever in his body each time Daichi's eyes set on Koushi. He just finished his studies and they decided he would come to Tokyo for his lover's last college year. They're going to live together, turn a new page of their story, and Daichi have never felt so excited by expectation.

Koushi's parents knew he was dating someone, however he had never introduced him to them. It was a bit strange because Daichi often ran into them when he came home and they easily chatted since they've known each other for a long time. But he understood his partner's fears as they often talked about this.

The relationship between Suga and his parents might be one of the most perfect he witnessed. He was always impressed, when he came to his house in high school, by the amount of communication at Sugawaras. His own family got along well but it couldn't relate with the harmony and trust that ruled their home. Koushi's coming-out had created a fracture in this perfect balance. He didn't take the blame on himself nor put it on his parents – and they were certainly doing the same – but he coudn't ignore the existence of this rift. And because he feared it gets irreparable, he had only told them a few months earlier he was seeing someone, no time, no name, just to prepare them.

Kiyoko and Chikara's wedding, scheduled for next spring, had revived tensions. Koushi told him his mother had asked if he'll go alone or with someone, carelessly noting a wedding at their age would be full of single people. For her, his actual relationship was new, and Suga laughed saying she certainly hoped a pretty young woman would overshadow his Tokyo crush. His smile didn't laugh and he had sighed noticing it was time for them to know, now they were going to move in together.

In front of the family home, his boyfriend slightly shivered. It was unusual to see him like this, he who never doubted, who always looked straight forward with a wide confident smile. Daichi brushed his hand so he didn't forget he was by his side, even though he was not overconfident himself. To get over the stress, he remembered all the other times they had to come out.

Obviously, Asahi, Noya and Kiyoko (thus Chikara) knew straightaway, and the others had reacted almost the same way they did this famous breaking news night – Tanaka's soul had vanished. Tsukishima had made a comment under his breath that they could have their own procession at Tokyo gay pride and Daichi was a bit worried he didn't accept them as much as he thought. Koushi had immediately seen his doubts and whispered him in an impish voice that _really_ wasn't what he was thinking. He hadn't explained and Daichi had just believed his words, rather worrying if the red on Hinata's and Kageyama's face was due to the alcool since they just had came in age. Suga had laughed out loud and stayed hilarious all night.

Nariko had laughed, so laughed... when he had announced him that he was dating a man, as he expected. And when they had met, he had let out a whistling and blinked affirming that he too could go gay for this 'start of quote' gorgeous Appolo dropped from angel's arms 'end of quote'. Still today, Daichi didn't know if he considered the meeting of those two a wonderful or a terrible event – he always was a little edgy when their two personalities were in the same room...

The annoucement to his own family had been... chaotic... For a reason that seemed hazier each time he thought about it again, he had decided – considering the large number of his tribe – it was better to release the information for all at once, that is during the annual family gathering. Koushi had raised careful objections to this plan – especially since, for what they knew, Daichi was a diehard hetero – but he had let him do as he wanted since it was his family. One thing Daichi retained from the event : always listen to Koushi.

Daichi hadn't expected the more than enthusastic welcome his folks had offered to Koushi as soon as they had set feet in the house. He hadn't taken into account that they all knew him really well from their high school years and that they would assault him with a whole bunch of questions, letting none of both time to get a word, as they hadn't seen him in years. And among the inquiries, needless to say there had been the one about 'a girlfriend'. A topic which had set all of them on fire, between questions and jokes, in a hurly-burly that Daichi, after many attempts to step in, had finally cut short shouting at the top of his lungs : “Koushi and I are a couple !”

A complete silence had followed this declaration and Daichi's blood pressure had gone from its highest to its lowest as Koushi looked at him with more incredulous eyes than his family's. His great-grandfather had finally broken the silence saying it was unnatural, and before Daichi had time to hold his lover's hand and defend themselves tooth and nails, the living room had changed into a stupefying battlefield.

The elder's comment had triggered an uproar that splitted the family in two opposite camps, between those who agreed and those who didn't – Daichi had noticed with great relief the later ones were a large majority – and escalated to a point where Daichi and Koushi had been totally forgotten by the opponents. From this mess, Daichi had retained his parents' and sibblings' approval, sick jokes he hoped to forget one day and the sincere and (very) disturbing stupefaction of one of his cousin : “Weren't you since ever ?”

Well, it was hard to believe the reunion with Koushi's parents could be so epic. He clenched his fists and deeply breathed in.

“If you want to calm down, tell yourself you're the first I bring home.”

“Yeah... My nerves thank you for the physical activity” he grimaced as his blood pressure rose at the comment.

The silver blonde let out a laugh more nervous than amused and Daichi briefly squeezed his hand.

Suga made up his mind, pushed open the door, a knot in the stomach, and called out.

“Dad, mum ! I'm home ! Daichi's with me !”

His father appeared at the entrance of the living room as they were taking their shoes off, a warm smile on his face.

“It's been a while, Daichi. How are your parents ?”

“They're fine, thanks for them” he answered shaking his hand.

His mother came into sight as well with the same smile.

“Diner is almost ready. Won't you stay to eat ?”

Suga felt his heart tighten in guilt – he had precisely chosen this time for this reason – and followed everybody in the living room trying not to think too much about the next step. His parents were casually and cheerfully talking with Daichi. They had always really appreciated him and treated him like a second son when they were at Karasuno. Suga couldn't help but think he'll betray them again. He had never felt so close to the edge of the abyss...

“Sit down” his mother told them. “I'll get you drinks.”

“Wait !” Suga hold her back as she was heading to the kitchen. “First, I...”

He shared a look with Daichi then looked back at his parents. If he hadn't been so stressed, he could have found amusing that they didn't seem to have any idea what was going on. For them, Daichi was a friend, a family member, they were as reckless as he had been at the beginning about the eventuality of an affair.

“Do you remember when I told you I'll bring a boyfriend home one day ?” he asked in a lower voice he intented.

They didn't immediately get it. His father kept his air of honnest curiosity and his mother's face took the restrained irritated expression she always had when the topic came up. But like he didn't add anything and was simply standing there watching them with visible stress, which wasn't common for him, their features changed. Their look slided to Daichi with the same hesitant expression and the man's wavering smile was the impulse that confirmed what they were thinking.

“Okay...” Suga's father exhaled.

His son observed him blink, take a deep breath, then get up, smiling again, to get closer to Daichi and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Okay” he repeated shaking his hand again.

Daichi nodded smiling in turn then looked at Koushi, whose anxiety hadn't come down.

Even if his dad's reaction pleased him, he dreaded the moment his mother would recover. She was still frozen between the living room and the kitchen, her hands firmly intertwined in front of her and a totally indecipherable look on her face.

“Akemi ?” his husband finally softly called her.

She startled, ran her eyes on them, endind and lingering on his son for a long time, then smoothed her dress and cleared her voice.

“I'll bring you drinks” she repeated as if nothing happened. “Daichi, do you prefer iced tea or a beer ? We have shôshû as well.”

“Er... Tea will be perfect, thank you.”

She sent him a bit forced smile and disappeared in the kitchen.

They remained on safe subjects fot the meal : Daichi's sister near university entrance, a nephew's travel in Europa, news from Karasuno's old students. Even if they were walking on eggshells and all felt the underlying tension, the dinner went on surprisingly well, Suga's mother leading the conversation with a spirit a little constrained but nonetheless communicative.

At tea time, she said she'll go do some of the dishes so they could talk one man to another. Suga gave her one minute, in the course of which no one talked, then got up and followed her, smiling to Daichi when he grabbed his hand to squeeze it passing by him.

Back turned to him, his mum's hands were plunged in the soapy water of the sink, tenser than usual and washing the dishes with brusque movements, but she didn't cry, like he had been afraid of finding her.

“Isn't it dad's turn for the dishes ?” he asked grabbing a dish towel to wipe the ustensils that was draining.

“I wanted to” she simply answered.

They stayed like that not talking for a while, his mother scrubbing more than necessary every plate, the silence filled with the rumble of the conversation between Daichi and his father, until a motion stronger than others banged two dishes together in a loud and dry noise that surprised them both. There was no damage but the sound had cut his mother's agitation off.

She returned to her activity with slower movements but Koushi just looked at her, waiting.

“I was ready to hate every man you would have bring” she said in the voice she took when he was younger and had done something stupid. “It's easy to scare off a man, they're much more fearful than women. Not you obviously, you're a man apart. And that's why I can't let a man...”

She frowned and shook the chopsticks she had on hands a little too much vivaciously so the window in font of the sink was splashed.

“A man...” she repeated under her breath, looking at the glass in her hand not washing it. “How a man could take care of you properly ? You deserve softness, a tender love, a person who appease and comfort you. As if a man...”

She kept quiet again and Koushi almost noted his father provided her for all of this, but he felt it was better to let her finish her thoughts.

“Yes, I would. I was going to give him a piece of my mind. I would have made him understand he doesn't deserve you and he would have quickly run away.”

She had spoken in ardour, with a sour face, but suddenly stopped any motion. Her hands settled down on the edge of the sink and her shoulders dropped.

“But you cheatted...” she whispered. “You brought Daichi...” she added in a thin voice.

She abruptly looked up to his son with accusing eyes.

“You know how much I love him !”

Her eyes watered and she began to cry her eyes out. Koushi repeled the stupor he was feeling to hold her tightly in his arms, rubbing her back.

“Sorry for the heartache, mum” he murmured.

She hiccuped in his arms and shook her head.

“Don't you dare” she reprimanded him between two sobbings. “It's parents' role to protect children from sorrow, not the opposite.”

He had a light laugh and kissed her hair.

“Yes, you're right. Sorry for being so presumptuous.”

She pulled her face out of his shoulders and looked at him straight in the eyes despite the tears.

“Are you happy ?” she asked stroking his cheek with her fingers.

Koushi didn't respond immediately, diving into the distressed eyes of his mother. He turned his head to the annex room, pensive, and a gentle heat spread in his chest when Daichi's laugh arose from the vague conversation they could hear.

“I am” he answered offering his brighter and wider smile to his mum.

She nodded, deeply breathed and wiped her tears off. On one gesture, she lowered her son's head and stood on her toes to give him a kiss on his forehead. Then she smiled in turn.

« No matter who you love, no matter who you are, as long as you are happy. I'll always be the one who love you the most in this world, Koushi. »

He let out a sob and huddled up to her, so she couldn't see his tears run, from love, from relief, from years of uncertainty and uneasiness. He squeezed her to confirm that the rift had closed up, a little daylight remaining but definitely repared. He cried and each tear erased another day that had separated them, he cried for a long time.

It was her turn to rub his back and kiss his hair. He was who he was and she could accept that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ° So... For the “overdrived squirrel”, I hope it makes sense ^^' In French that was “une puce sauteuse” because we say “excité comme une puce” for “very excited” and the expression in English seemed to be “excited like a child” and... that didn't seem as strong, so I made up this (since squirrels are known for being jumpy). If a real another expression exists, tell me !  
> ° When I thought about this story the first time, it was Daichi who said to Suga “You are who you are” the last time to 'heal' his father's words. At this time, the story ended just after the kiss, and then I wrote the reunion whis his parents... Sorry but, no regret !  
> ° Seriously, for the “straight out” at the beginning, I bursted out laughing when doing the translation. I wrote this part in French first and the expression is “tout de go”, so when I saw this proposition in the translations, I could only use it, hence the “no pun intented” :-D  
> ° I chose the name Nariko for Daichi's student friend assuming it was a strictly female name as it seemed this way on the Internet (never had a clear confirmation). So if any of you know it's a gender-neutral one, could you please tell me some that are ? Because the idea in “western” transposition, it would be like her parents named him Emily or Rebecca.  
> ° The conversation between Daichi and Suga's father in the last scene must have been quite interesting... A shame that, for rhythm reasons, I didn't write it >.<  
> ° And finally, the imagery I have in mind for Daichi and Suga is roughly the same than the one in the doujinshi “Sekai de Ichiban Mijikai I Love You” by K2company (Kazuma Kodaka). I dream of a sequel T.T


End file.
